There’s something about doing theater during the summertime that’s so absolutely perfect.  I credit it to my humble beginnings as the illustrious “Jet Girl” in West Side Story  and  the challenging dual roles of “Nurse”/”French Girl” in  South Pacific,   both with a summer vacation theater group at my school.  The smell, the humidity that’s only increased by stage lights….the feeling that summer begs for entertainment. 

Over the past few years, I’ve not had the summer theater experience I hoped for. Certainly there were glimmers of it in the number of shows I’ve performed in during June, July, or August.  The Fringe Festival itself is a ball of excitement.  However, nothing really stuck with me like those first few forays into the performing arts.   *Sigh* Maybe I’m chasing an impossible dream.  

On the other hand…I’m feeling that nostalgia stronger than ever.  I’m about to open a show with Theatre in the Round- Agatha Christie’s  The Unexpected Guest.

(Details here:

http://www.theatreintheround.org/on-stage/the-unexpected-guest.html

http://www.theatreintheround.org/on-stage/the-unexpected-guest/more-about-guest/ )

(ooh!  I’m so scared!  Is it because I’m channeling Shelly Duvall in The Shinning?)

Running May 29 – June 21

Fridays and Saturdays at 7pm, Sundays at 2pm

Theatre in the Round

245 Cedar AVE

Minneapolis

Chestnut of a play?  Check.   Fun cast?  Check.  Amazing costumes?  Check.

Nerves/Debilitating Fear/Anxiety/Terror?  Um.  Check.

It’s the largest role I’ve had in a while.  I certainly don’t wish to don a peach dress and go back to being a Jet Girl with no lines and fiery jealousy of the girl playing Maria…BUT, I’m starting to get jittery.  A solid rehearsal tonight and a Preview with audience tomorrow will help....

As would friends in the house.  So if you can, please come check it out.  It's a great show- wonderful performances and who doesn't love a mystery?
 

One final thing:

FREE tickets for tomorrow’s preview.  Leave me a message here.  I’ll hook you up.

Hope to see you there!  I have two more very exciting summer theater endeavors coming up.  One of 'em could mean a road trip.  Stay tuned!

I’ve been really bad about updating this blog.   I know this. It’s not for lack of trying. I have at least 3-4 blog posts from the last 6 months alone that I start…but don’t finish. Often times I’m waxing on a problem and by the time I get around to completing the post, the problem has resolved itself.  It’s actually a good thing, see?

I also am unsure about the interest level of a lot of my daily and weekly happenings. How many audition mishaps can one blog about anyway? Ha! So, I’m doing something I never thought I’d do : I’m writing a vacation and travel blog series. Step aside Bourdain, there’s a new skinny bitch in town…

Okay so uh…Anthony Bourdain wouldn’t set foot on a cruise ship. But so what? I’m a travel novice. I’ve done some travel here and there. And actually over the past 3 years I’ve done more than I did the decade before that. We’re getting there!  Give me time. I do think I’d like to have a show on the Travel Channel from a woman’s perspective when traveling a lot of countries with very diverse cultural norms, but I digress.

Back to the matter at hand. The details:

In four days, Grant & I head off on a cruise to the Caribbean. It’s a big commercial cruise line, but that’s part of the fun. We are not campers. Too much left to our own devices could be bad and result in a flurry of stomach pains and sunburn. 

I'm going to try and post daily about the cruise with a few sprinkled in before that.  I promise to be gentle - no "Wish you were here!" smugness! Just silly commentary from a first time sailor.  (Wait...is there a sail?!  I suck at this.)

Before we embark on this adventure, I have to:

·         Lose 5 vanity lbs*

·         Pack

·         Have a pretty f&%king important audition

·         Attend a meeting for volunteers of Operation Glass Slipper

·         Volunteer for Operation Glass Slipper

·         Buy cat food 

*Kidding. Sorta.

Can we do it? Can I rally and get all this done amid work and working out? Sure! Why not? I’m good at lists. I made one just now and even remembered the cat food part. 

So, today is Tuesday. Countdown: 4 days

Today’s tasks: Big workout day, big packing day, prep for audition. In that order. The clock at work is ticking and not helping. Is it 5pm yet?!

I’m doing 2 dialects for this audition…and as some of you know certain dialects juxtaposed in your mind and in your mouth are pretty near impossible. These two are toughies. But rally we must. Turn your hats inside out and upside down, and keep those fingers crossed for me!

More tomorrow!  And bring on the travel tips!

Oh! Hello blog! Why- I didn’t mean to stay away so long. I know it’s been…months. Seasons. I daresay an era since I last posted something of note. Well worry no more. I’m back! And while I cannot promise life changing musings I can promise theatrical narcissism, anxiety, drama, and hell…maybe we’ll both learn something.

So without further adieu….

I want to talk about The Waiting Game. I’m playing it hardcore right now, and I can’t think of anything else. I can’t focus on work. I can’t think about the big audition I have coming up right after I leave my day job today. Can.not.think. of. anything.else.

For the uninitiated: The Waiting Game or TWG, is “Played” during the period of time that occurs after an audition or callback audition and the casting calls. Or the “thanks but no thanks” “we’ve gone a different direction” “thank you for such a wonderful audition” calls and e-mails.

A blessed few are able to let go, Let God, Let it be, Let it alone, during this time period which can last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks. The holiday weekend came into play during my TWG period. So part of me is inclined to not count it, in a way. Part of me thinks that other part of me is doing some wishful thinking and to just let it go. I’ve done all I can do, right?

If only it were that easy. I subscribe to the “why wait” school of thought. If I’m in…don’t make me wait! If I’m for sure not in. Don’t make me wait. But I also subscribe to the superstitious school of thought that says Don’t Talk About Auditions. Bad mojo, perhaps. So am I shooting myself in the foot right now? Or is the casting director just in meetings all day? Harrrmph.

I’m willing myself with all my might to keep a Secret-esque positive mindset. But doesn’t it seem like you just fall farther if things don't work out the way you want them to? Wow. Epic Fail at self help over here.

With all the schools of thought on TWG out there…only one thing is certain: You’ll know when you get the call or e-mail. Le sigh.

While we wait, let’s switch topics for a second....

Dreams.

I have some pretty vivid dreams.  Sometimes too real.  I was privy to one the other night:

Theatre Anxiety Dream #158:
I've had this dream in a different form -where I'm in high school and I have a final in a class that somehow I never managed to attend.  I've never picked up the textbook, much less study for this test. And I usually make it to entering the classroom and sitting down at my desk.  Before the actual test arrives in front of me, I wake up.

I've also had theater anxiety dreams.  Typically, it's opening night.  I'm not off book.  There's a new scene added.  I'm just not ready, somehow.  But I'm being pushed out onto the stage.  It's time!

This one the other night was similar.  I was cast in a show and somehow managed to never read the script, or make it to rehearsals much less get off book.  And it's opening night.  I'm holding the script in my hands trying desperately to absorb what I can as the clock ticks closer to places call.

The problem with these dreams is that they are so real.  There's no Yeti marching through, no gnomes playing cribbage, Clark Gable isn't my teacher, we're not in Cloud City...They are as real as real can be.  I often do a self-assessment (or my dream self does one) and I say to myself "This is not a dream.  This is real!"

How this dream differs from other similar theater anxiety dreams is that I actually made it onstage.  I go out, and desperately try to improv lines.  The other actors are picking up the pieces around me.  It actually seems to be working! The first scene is over, despite being cut from 15 minutes to 5 minutes due to my, you know, complete lack of ability!  I exit and look at my script, which I've stashed offstage.  I have the first line in the next scene!  It's the "reunion with lost love" scene for my character.  Well at least in my dreams I'm getting decent work.  I run out and see the actor playing my love interest. It's Taylor Hicks of American Idol fame.  Well, he could very well be doing regional theater.  I do my best "excited ingénue and somehow it works.  But then people start singing.  And I just can't do it anymore.  But I'm not running offstage.  I stay. I want to do this. Fix this.

Then I wake up. 

The weird thing is that I wasn't scared of doing the show.  I wanted to be there.  I was so scared of not doing well. 

I just want to succeed in whatever it is that's on my plate.  I know it's a Captain Obvious statement, but one of the toughest things about this business is that your success does hinge on the opninons of others.  You do need to have self-confidence, but you also need the director, casting agent, or decision maker to believe in you, as well.  So hopefully a couple of people will believe in me today.  One big audition down.  Three more to go this month.  One of them commences in about 2 hours. 

I'm off- to hurry up and wait some more.  Later!

Killer Joe Press!

City Pages 
Star Tribune (Interview with Zach Curtis)
Star Tribune (Show Review)

Killer Joe
By Pulitzer and Tony award winning playwright Tracy Letts
Directed by Carin Bratlie

October 4 - 19, 2008

What if the hit don't go down like you thought it would?

We've moved!
to the NEW Gremlin Theatre
2400 University Ave
St. Paul, MN 55114

In a trailer in Texas, the Smith family hires a hit man to dispose of Mom and reap the life insurance rewards. When they can't come up with the payment upfront, Joe beds the Smith daughter as a retainer. In a sinister twist the murder plot begins to unravel just as the theatrical plot turns deeper down the rabbit hole. Before it's over, nearly everyone is bloodied.

Please Note:

This production has onstage smoking. It also has nudity, violence, strong language and adult themes. Don't bring the kids.

Tickets:

$14 - $28 Sliding Scale (Pay what you wanna in that range)
Cash or Check only

Reservations recommended!
Box Office: 612-874-9321

Performances:

October 4 - 19, 2008
Thursday through Saturdays at 7:30 P.M., Sundays at 2:00 P.M.

Special events:
Monday, October 13 @ 7:30 P.M. - "Pay What You Can" Performance
Complimentary Sensory Tour, Pre-Show (by appointment only)

Performance Venue:

The Gremlin Theatre
2400 University Ave
St. Paul, MN 55114

The Cast:

Killer Joe Cooper - Zach Curtis *
Sharla Smith - Katherine Kupiecki
Ansel Smith - Sam L. Landman
Dottie Smith - Katie Willer
Chris Smith - Clarence Wethern

The Crew:

Director - Carin Bratlie **
Stage Manager - Lydia Bolder
Fight Choreographer - David Tufford
Makeup Designer - Crist Ballas
Lighting Designer - Julia Carlis
Sound Designer - Katharine Horowitz
Props Designer - Justin Gallo
Set Designer - Carin Bratlie
Costume Designer - Mandi Johnson
Graphic Designer - Kris Heding +
Asst. Director - Natalie Novacek **#
Asst. Stage Manager - Michelle Haugerud
Dramaturg - Christopher Kehoe

** Theatre Pro Rata Company Member
+ Theatre Pro Rata Resident Artist
# Associate Member Society of Stage Directors & Choreographers
* Member of Actor's Equity, the Union of Professional Actors and Stage Managers in the United States

A little commentary on Weight Watchers cards.  I'm really hoping these were a First Edition...


http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards/czarina.html

A tale from the theater crypt:

Here in the ol’ acting biz, there are generally two types of theater auditions:

Cold reads and monologues.  Fairly self explanatory, but the latter is often used for Shakespeare and classical theatre more often than not. 

I recently signed up to audition for a new theatre company and their production of a well-known Shakespeare play…one that I have already done in the past.  I sign up excited at the possibility of playing a different role in this great play.  I also think it’s a good idea to try and learn a brand new monologue for this audition, tailored to the play and to the role I want.  I have no less than 5 days to memorize and work to performance level, a Shakespearian monologue.

No problem!  I’m a professional, right?  I work hard, right?

WRONG. 

To make a long story short, I go into the audition feeling quite prepared.  I know that at least, I have the thing memorized.  Right?

WRONG.

I had this audition last night, and for lack of a better term...I bombed it.

I start the piece and my mind is racing underneath my saying the words “You’re fucking up, you are fucking up!”

We call this “up in your head” in that you are in your head and not focusing on the performance.  And sure enough, about 3 lines from the glorious end…my mind goes BLANK.  Absolutely blank.  I couldn’t tell you my name at this point. 

So I stop, and I say “I’m sorry, this is a new piece for me.  May I start over?”

Now…for the uninitiated, this is a HUGE DEAL. It’s such a no-no, that it’s the definition of audition faux pas.  You just don’t do this.  You don’t come in unprepared.  Not for the Springfield Community Theatre, certainly not for the Guthrie and not for small theater groups comprised of people you don’t know.  Because now you will forever be the girl who blanked at her audition. 

To add insult to injury, there are no less than six people in this audition.  The two directors (?  This is weird.  Maybe a bad sign.  Two directors?) and then four randoms, who I could only assume were cast members.

The positive side, if I can even go there—I had fucked up and dropped lines from the beginning of my audition.  I proceeded to get through the whole thing with all the lines intact. On a scale from 1-10, I give myself an 8.25.  I held my head high and just did it again.  I didn’t cry or run out of the room.  I didn’t vomit on one of the director’s backwards newsboy cap. 

Because see, I was prepared…just not prepared enough.  I needed one more week with the piece, I guess.  Maybe more. 

But of course, even a comeback cannot ensure more humiliation isn’t in store.  They proceeded to, even with looks on their faces like “How quickly can we get her out of here?”  have me read from the script…the role I’ve already played.  And one that I didn’t put down on my little sheet as “Role I would be interested in."  In fact, I had zero interest in this role. On a scale of 1 to 10…I was a 6.75.  .75 because I did some physical comedy and they laughed at it…or maybe they were laughing at me because I was just ridiculous.

So maybe this is all a blessing in disguise.  They didn't have me read for the role I wanted, the schedule actually, wasn't really jiving with me.  Maybe?  Yes?  
Yes.  I "threw" the audition!  I had to!  For the good of humanity!

 
In all seriousness, I felt really, really down after this.  Understandably.  I felt like an amateur, a lazy actor, and that I just didn't work hard enough.  Even though I felt I had worked so hard to get this into my brain and up to a good level in just 5 days.  But it wasn't good enough.  Maybe my brain isn't what it used to be, maybe I'm just not blessed with quick study like others are.
Regardless...I felt really crappy.  And I just want to get through it, forget about it, get to the next audition.

But all that may be some time coming.  /-:

The moral of the story:

Don’t act unless you need to, folks.   I’ll carry the burden of creativity, along with Bishop.